Friday, September 05, 2003
Administrative Assistants shouldn’t work nearly as hard as I do.
Nuff said.
So, yesterday was the most chaotic day of my life. Among other things, I was once again reminded that not only is this journal popular, it’s way too public. A good friend of mine was hurt by something I wrote in these pages after she stumbled across the site. Then I was asked to remove certain items from my journal that was destroying someone’s very guarded privacy. I didn’t want to remove this stuff, but since I care so deeply about the people in my life, I thought it only fair to do what was asked of me. Could this journal BE any more censored?
It’s sad, to say the least, and I feel terrible about what happened. Reason #1 why I don’t give out this journal’s web address to my friends. There is always the chance that someone will read something and not understand the way in which it was intended. This is MY journal. No one else’s and I hate having to make excuses for it. But I guess that’s the problem you run into when you post thoughts and information in a public domain. Fuck it. It’s over. I don’t want to think about it anymore.
Rehearsal last night was INTERESTING.
I have been writing lately about how Ian, the guy in the show with me, is becoming my new straight man crush. Well, let me explain a bit better.
I don’t go for straight guys unless I have just cause. In fact, I am so over the whole straight boy thing at this point that I find it a waste of my time to flirt and play around with this type of ridiculous activity. That’s why this thing with Ian is throwing me for a loop. It’s been a long time since I have had a straight guy flirt with me for no apparent reason.
For example…here are some statements that came out of Ian’s mouth in the last 48 hours that have lead me to believe that he has some sort of special connection with me. (Aside from the fact that we are actors together in the same production)
To the director and Stage Manger, he said: "Sure, I will come and help out on Saturday. Make sure to bring gloves, hammers, beer, and….Joe."
To the director he said: "We need to figure out a way to get down the stairs before the next scene. Why doesn’t Joe give me a piggy back down (them)?" I responded with "Ian, YOU should be the one that gives ME the piggy back. You’re the man in this relationship." He responded by winking at me.
To me he said: "I was thinking about you last night and was going to call. But then I thought that you would think that was fucking weird." I responded with "Yeah, that is fucking weird."
On top of these little blurbs that come out of his mouth, he is consistently paying more attention to me than he is anyone else. He is constantly wrestling around with me and punching me and staring at me and…
Without sounding like a total egocentric idiot, he is acting the way that all of the other straight guys I bedded have acted. I am still a firm believer that Ian is straight and I have worked very hard at not giving him any reason to believe that I have a friendly little crush on him. I find him to be so adorable and fun. That’s all. But I do like the fact that he shows me this extra attention. It’s just so reminiscent of the days of college. The days when I would make straight guy friends discern if they could be even partially gay and then have them kiss me and hold me in my bed. I just have this way. Ask any of my friends.
So, I am pretty excited to spend Sunday afternoon with him, drinking beers and getting to know each other outside of rehearsal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a new BOYFRIEND or even a HOOK-UP. I am very happy with Paul and how things are going between us. It’s just FUN to have this type of thing going on. Ian’s an awesome guy and I hope to be proud to call him my friend. Friend that wants to hold me in my bed.
Sike.
So that’s it.
I gotta go home now. It’s already 2:15pm and I am STILL at work. But I didn’t want to leave without telling everyone to have an EXCELLENT weekend!
So…..have an EXCELLENT weekend!
Nuff said.
So, yesterday was the most chaotic day of my life. Among other things, I was once again reminded that not only is this journal popular, it’s way too public. A good friend of mine was hurt by something I wrote in these pages after she stumbled across the site. Then I was asked to remove certain items from my journal that was destroying someone’s very guarded privacy. I didn’t want to remove this stuff, but since I care so deeply about the people in my life, I thought it only fair to do what was asked of me. Could this journal BE any more censored?
It’s sad, to say the least, and I feel terrible about what happened. Reason #1 why I don’t give out this journal’s web address to my friends. There is always the chance that someone will read something and not understand the way in which it was intended. This is MY journal. No one else’s and I hate having to make excuses for it. But I guess that’s the problem you run into when you post thoughts and information in a public domain. Fuck it. It’s over. I don’t want to think about it anymore.
Rehearsal last night was INTERESTING.
I have been writing lately about how Ian, the guy in the show with me, is becoming my new straight man crush. Well, let me explain a bit better.
I don’t go for straight guys unless I have just cause. In fact, I am so over the whole straight boy thing at this point that I find it a waste of my time to flirt and play around with this type of ridiculous activity. That’s why this thing with Ian is throwing me for a loop. It’s been a long time since I have had a straight guy flirt with me for no apparent reason.
For example…here are some statements that came out of Ian’s mouth in the last 48 hours that have lead me to believe that he has some sort of special connection with me. (Aside from the fact that we are actors together in the same production)
To the director and Stage Manger, he said: "Sure, I will come and help out on Saturday. Make sure to bring gloves, hammers, beer, and….Joe."
To the director he said: "We need to figure out a way to get down the stairs before the next scene. Why doesn’t Joe give me a piggy back down (them)?" I responded with "Ian, YOU should be the one that gives ME the piggy back. You’re the man in this relationship." He responded by winking at me.
To me he said: "I was thinking about you last night and was going to call. But then I thought that you would think that was fucking weird." I responded with "Yeah, that is fucking weird."
On top of these little blurbs that come out of his mouth, he is consistently paying more attention to me than he is anyone else. He is constantly wrestling around with me and punching me and staring at me and…
Without sounding like a total egocentric idiot, he is acting the way that all of the other straight guys I bedded have acted. I am still a firm believer that Ian is straight and I have worked very hard at not giving him any reason to believe that I have a friendly little crush on him. I find him to be so adorable and fun. That’s all. But I do like the fact that he shows me this extra attention. It’s just so reminiscent of the days of college. The days when I would make straight guy friends discern if they could be even partially gay and then have them kiss me and hold me in my bed. I just have this way. Ask any of my friends.
So, I am pretty excited to spend Sunday afternoon with him, drinking beers and getting to know each other outside of rehearsal. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a new BOYFRIEND or even a HOOK-UP. I am very happy with Paul and how things are going between us. It’s just FUN to have this type of thing going on. Ian’s an awesome guy and I hope to be proud to call him my friend. Friend that wants to hold me in my bed.
Sike.
So that’s it.
I gotta go home now. It’s already 2:15pm and I am STILL at work. But I didn’t want to leave without telling everyone to have an EXCELLENT weekend!
So…..have an EXCELLENT weekend!
